Do You Have a Fixed or Growth Mindset?
By Rose Rogers
Believe it or not… our level of success depends on our mindset.
Figuring out if we have a fixed or growth mindset is the first step towards determining how much inner work we have to do. Is it even possible to change from a fixed to a growth mindset? Yes, it is… I’m living proof.
If you haven’t already, take a look at the image above and assess which one resonates with you more. Those with a fixed mindset believe everything is already a done deal – their intelligence, skills, and preferences are the way the are and will never change. Failure means you shouldn’t try again, and any feedback is taken very personally.
It’s not a great place to be… and such limiting beliefs are incorrect and stifling. If you have a fixed mindset and are reading this blog, that’s an indicator to me that you do have dreams, goals and aspirations… and you would like to reset your brain to a growth mindset so that you can break out of your comfort zone and achieve greater success. Am I right?
For me personally, it was the birth of my daughter and my spiritual awakening that flipped mine. I was suddenly forced way out of my comfort zone and had to learn to take care of myself and a newborn all at the same time. Without writing a whole novel about it… I had been too dependent on my mother to do things for me until this point, and I broke up with my daughter’s dad during the pregnancy. If that doesn’t force someone out of their comfort zone, I don’t know what will!
I won’t lie, the first few months of my daughter’s life were incredibly hard – I was exhausted and became very underweight because I would opt to sleep whenever I could instead of eating, and whatever food I did manage to eat mostly went to producing breastmilk.
I also had to live on my own for the first time ever… and all the things that go with that. Shopping, cleaning, cooking, laundry etc. But to my surprise, I was good at all these things – and I eventually grew to love living alone so much that I can’t envision ever living with anyone other than my daughter ever again. Through all the struggles and hardships, I came out better and stronger and wiser. I came to realise the fixed mindset beliefs were bullshit. I eventually became so confident in my growth abilities that I became competent with math, something I grew up believing “I just couldn’t do”, and I eventually found the courage to ditch my steady job and start my own business… with only $2k in the bank to live off for a few months. My younger self would think that was insane! But it paid off big time, and here I am today, living a life completely by my own design.
On the more emotional side, I grew up being extremely vain (I’m a Leo!) although I think I was OK at hiding the extent of it to those around me (except my mother). I coined my own word at around age 14 “vananoia” – a combination of vanity and paranoia. That’s what I felt day in and day out… vanity and paranoia. I truly believed that if anyone saw me with a hair out of place, or an unflattering outfit, or lipstick on my teeth… well, I would have been mortified. I was constantly paranoid about the way I looked at every single moment. It was crippling and looking back, it sucked the joy out of most things I did. I wasn’t present in the moment all. That’s really sad.
Now I couldn’t give a toss about how I look or what others think of me. I am the complete opposite of my former self.
If someone doesn’t like me, or the way I look, they can buzz off. I no longer need to be adored by others. I love myself and know that I am 100% enough 24/7, whether I’m groomed for a professional meeting, glammed up for an event, or in my baggy tee and yoga pants without makeup. I can’t pinpoint exactly when this flipped for me, although I assume it was when my daughter was young and I didn’t have the time or energy to look stunning all the time… and I lived through it haha!
The other aspect that changed was when I was no longer offended if somebody disagreed with me, and I no longer had to be right all the time. Oh my goodness, how freeing that is! Through my spiritual awakening, becoming connected to source, and aligned with the universe – I now have the higher vibration to understand that the words and opinions of others cannot affect or disempower me. I can hear them, process them, and then cast any emotional reaction aside. If a response is required, I can calmly formulate an appropriate one without becoming defensive or wanting to get back at the perpetrator. If no response is required, I simply let it go and never think of it again.
Certain spiritual tools can help you ascertain this level if it doesn’t happen to you of its own accord, like meditation, yoga, mindfulness and gratitude practises.
So if you have a fixed mindset and want to join us on the growth side, the main thing you can do for yourself is to commit to that decision. Research as much as you can into it via books and the internet, try to reach your spiritual guides through meditation, chant positive mindset mantras, listen to mindset podcasts and follow mindset hashtags on Instagram.
Set a challenge to try something new once a week.
If you find your mindset isn’t budging, then it’s not a terrible idea to seek out a counsellor or therapist.
The results are so incredibly worth it, so why hold yourself back?