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Why Am I An Actor?

By Gillian Abbott

Why am I an actor? I can’t imagine doing anything else, and every time I do something magical in me disappears. I have a deep connection to my soul and I yearn to connect to others. I believe this is a gift and I have the choice to realize it fully or shy away from it. Dance opened it up, enabling me to touch people viscerally, and now the vulnerability of using my voice has opened up new depths of expressing my humanity.

As I become more and more courageous with my work, both as a dancer and actor, I have begun to answer the question WHY? At this time in my life, I believe I am here to touch the edges of the human heart. As I open my own heart, peeling back all the layers I’ve hid behind, I realize that I need a community and a safe environment to do the work I’ve set out to do. I am learning that it is through others that our deepest selves are revealed to us. I have accepted this mission of touching the edges of the human heart as a life’s journey, knowing that my understanding of the depths of myself will change tremendously throughout my training and performance career. As I allow my truths to be seen on stage or in a classroom, I hope to empower those around me to stand in theirs.

I want to create characters that don’t exist yet. Ones that are deeply connected and offer eye-opening experiences for others.

I want to give a new voice, a new heart and a new color to roles created by our greatest writers. A voice of today which includes all of yesterday and a vision for tomorrow.

As I go about my mission, I also aspire to get softer, gentler…a gentle alpha. I want to learn how to be a great leader and I want to have conversations that push society forward. I believe I become a better person every day that I act truthfully. As a young woman stepping into all that womanhood and adulthood area, I want to keep my child-like spirit of curiosity alive. I want to keep opening my heart to possibility – as scary as that is.

The work that I have been doing both in class and professionally, especially over the past eight years, has taught me that there is nothing to hide behind on the stage and because of that we are asked to use ALL of ourselves. To me that is the greatest service I can offer the world.

I want to let my faith live through my art. I want to see what meditation, dance and energy work can offer the world of theater. I want to be a rock in this world. A diamond in the rough that shines over time.