On Wisdom: Marriage Is Preparation For Divorce
When in India the Dalai Lama was asked a question by an audience member that seemed futile at the time – to comment about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s divorce.
His answer was,
“Marriage is preparation for divorce.”
Of course, he said it in a clairsentient delivery, with a smile on his face, and accompanied by the most contagious laugh. Naturally, the crowd reacted. It was a great joke, clever even. For me, it was a great insight. What struck me most was how he had managed to share a plain truth with his audience and the way he managed to keep things light. I learned two things that day.
- What causes an ordinary human to become a Great Sage?
- How to deliver a shattering truth to the unconscious personality ego with a hint of salt.
You know that feeling you get when salt water meets a small flesh wound. How it is so microscopic on the surface that when the salt touches it, your being feels its sting at a macroscopic level. It reminds you of your wound no matter how insignificant it may have been. This quote is forever immortalized, not only for its potential to awaken my mind but also as a simple trigger to call out my spirit. It is now a seed that has a potential to teach me how to choose and view my path. The Dalai Lama’s words on marriage and divorce made an appeal to my “very own” brand of ethics – How the human mind can choose something beautiful and make it so ugly and how we often feign not knowing what the truth entails. Its essence lies even deeper than this. What he is saying is:
Everything is in a constant state of becoming – A passage from birth to death. We know this, but we fight it, E-VE-RY-DAY – Because we want to feel alive and make sure we stay alive.
This quote reminds us on how we must view our lives – A passage that leads to an inevitable ending. Should we call it the cr eative imperative? This gnawing desire and search for things that often feel urgent and vital to our survival as artists – Only to discover that we to hold onto things that we thought would make us comfortable? Or move on to other things that we believe will make us happier.
The truth is, every project will end, every book has its last page, and every show will be retired.
Still, we want to possess and consume that puzzling and addictive feeling of beginning again – Like marriage with its bells, and baby breaths’ bouquet. Like falling in love. We forever envision and strive for that ultimate feeling without understanding that the word “ultimate” also means “last” or “beyond”. Beyond what lays ahead, a place where our eyes and thoughts can’t reach.
Do you know what the Dalai Lama said after dropping what had seemed like a category-3 observation?
A category-1 disaster relief response.
“Love is the basis of our survival.” – The Dalai Lama