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Dancer Noelle Croner: Seeking Solitude

Dancer Noelle Croner
By Noelle Croner

Editors Note: A professional dancer/performer by trade, Noelle is also an avid writer. It is a therapeutic process for her as she can be raw and real. Noelle’s journals have never been for anyone else. She has been courageous enough to share her writing with TheatreArtLife.

Solitude

solitude is what i search for
solitude is what I find
solitude gives me more
solitude fuels my mind

my life is full of love and laughter
surrounded by people who listen and share
they’ve been with me before and will be with me after
surrounded by people who support and care

but moments like this i just want to escape
run wild and free in a jungle unknown
creativity flows and my dreams take shape
no one chasing me, my time to be alone

my box has been broken the rules don’t exists
i own my heart and my heart owns my mind
erasing my disasters and uncurling my fists
no regrets, no burdens, don’t look behind

releasing my secrets, the wind pierces my core
my spirit rises high with it’s mouth open wide
judgement unchained as my demons soar
to a universe where right and wrong collide

reality is gripping my throat with no pardon
trying to breathe I choke back my fears
it’s killed all my flowers and destroyed my whole garden
it’s suffocated my perception for all of these years

my fight is fervid, my fight is stark
my eyes see black as deep as a hole
fading out the angst of the dark
unchaining the barricades depressing my soul

i swallow my pride and accept my sin
unveiling my stamps that define my being
my thoughtless mistakes tattooed to my skin
removing my past, the feeling is freeing

blue as the sky, i’m now washed clean
memories like sand scattered on the shore
my bones are the truth of my bodies routine
my scars are the truth of my minds war

expecting nothing and the return is zero
understanding isn’t a two way street
i’m not looking to be saved, i don’t need a hero
my strength rages on, overcoming defeat

solitude is what i search for
solitude is what I find
solitude gives me more
solitude fuels my mind

 

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