Significant Relationships: Where Have People Gone?
A few days ago I had an extremely interesting conversation with two friends. It is quite rare to have the opportunity to meet people that genuinely want to share their experience and listen to yours, without any hidden agenda. The topic? Relationships.
What a challenge to build significant relationships in global cities like Hong Kong, New York, London, Singapore, Tokyo…!
Don’t get me wrong: you constantly meet lots of different people, but you soon realize that they are kind of in flight from themselves, distracted by many side-line occurrences, and not really present when they are interacting.
During conversations, they seem unaware of what makes them unsettled or unhappy, and also of what actually makes them happy. What they seem to be aware of, however, is that they are not satisfied with the way their life is going.
At gatherings often you have the impression of meeting agendas, goals to be achieved, carefully studied images of self, planned narratives. It does not feel like you are actually meeting people.
So my question is, where have people gone? Where are the hearts? Where are the souls?
Well, I don’t know where hearts and souls have gone, but sure I can suggest how to invite them back into conversations, so that we can meet people again and not just absent or distracted minds. But before doing that let me ask you: are you fully present when you interact with people? Are you bringing your full self into conversations? Or are you hiding behind goals and agendas? Is your heart there? Are you actually meeting people and building meaningful relationships?
If you suspect that in interactions you are hiding your amazing self and you bring into conversations just a distracted mind, the following tips might help you center yourself and re-connect, so that you can bring back your full self into conversations:
1. Do not be afraid to be who you are, and if you are not sure who that is, just start the amazing journey of discovering yourself.
If you think that you know all about yourself, think again. There is so much more you can discover and I promise its worth the effort. How do you start?
Observe yourself, and start looking for hidden assumptions and limiting beliefs. This is a great first step towards re-connecting with your inner world.
2. Have the courage to trust yourself. Give yourself the gift of trust.
Let go of fear of judgment and believe you are enough and perfect just as you are. This gift will give you confidence, you will be proud of who you are and you’ll want to share yourself with the world.
3. Open up to people as much as you feel comfortable to, knowing, however, that you need to stretch yourself beyond your comfort zone to build deeper and more fulfilling connections.
Start opening up a little more with a close friend you already trust, share a little more and listen more patiently. You will be surprised of what this can create.
So next time, when you interact, be proud of letting yourself shine, dare to bring your heart and full self into conversations, and open up by sharing and listening more. This will bring new amazing connections into your life and who knows, your soul-mate might show up if you are looking for one, or if you already have one, you’ll find yourself bringing new incredible and unexpected relationships into your life.
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